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[personal profile] lostangelssong
Okay guys, after taking forever to write my last epic, and trying to ignore this plot bunny, which wouldn't leave me alone, I've decided to indulge my muses and write the sequel to Same Words Different Situation. I'm not quite sure where this will take us, but I do have a general idea of how this one is going to go. I hope you guys enjoy. Also? For everyone asking where Sofu D was the last time around? This fic is for you. XD And now, without any further ado...

Title: Not Quite Paradise - Chapter 1
Fandom: Petshop of Horrors - with a minor dash of Trauma Center: Under the Knife
Rating: PG-13 at least for this chapter
Archive: Ask and ye shall be as gods receive
Warning: Lots of profanity, flashbacks, reincarnation, possible errors about certain medical professions, minor crossover, pregnant kami, Many people named D, sequelfic,
Spoilers: Volume 10 of the Petshop of Horrors manga is mentioned, and will likely continue to be so. The Papa D/Vesca side story from Shin Petshop of Horrors might also be referenced. Also, this is a direct sequel to my fic Same Words Different Situation, so there will be plenty of spoilers for that as well.

Vincent couldn't believe he'd ever agreed to this. This was the fifth store Derek had hauled him into this afternoon. And frankly, he was getting ready to strangle the other man.

"Stiles, can we at least get lunch or something if you're going to be at this much longer? Or at the very least, can I go out and smoke a cigarette?"

"Oh, just five more minutes?" Derek asked, turning the pathetic puppy dog eyes on Vincent.

"Oh fuck no. You said that an hour and a half ago. And two stores ago. I either need a cigarette or I need food if you want to keep this up. I don't even know why you wanted to bring me along anyway," Vincent growled.

"Because you're my best friend! And you said you'd be the best man at the wedding! So you have to help me pick out an engagement ring!" Derek explained, grabbing Vincent's arm.

Vincent rolled his eyes and started trying to extricate his arm from Derek's hold. "You haven't even asked her yet. And news flash? I am really the wrong fucking person to ask about shit like engagement rings and weddings and all of that."

"Why?" Derek asked, letting Vincent's hand go and sighing. "I don't see anything she'd like. Maybe you're right. Maybe we should get some lunch."

"I'm with D, remember? D and I are destined to live in sin forever. And glad you finally see things my way," Vincent said, lighting a cigarette the moment they got outside.

Derek coughed pointedly, but beyond that, he let Vincent smoke.

"Don't you ever want to make you and D official?" Derek asked, grinning a little.

Vincent snorted. "Even if we were to do anything, it wouldn't be a big white wedding or any fucking thing like that. If I could get D to agree to anything, and that would be a huge if mind you, it would probably be going down to the courthouse and signing some papers. No church, no ceremony, no honeymoon... well the honeymoon might not be so bad, but we don't have time to take one. Not to mention that I would have a hell of a time getting him to agree to wear a wedding band, and what's the point in that? Those things are fucking expensive just for bands, and we'd spend most of the time with them off anyway, since we're doctors and all. Last thing you want is to be closing a patient and realize that your wedding band is still inside Mr. Jones's kidney," Vincent said. "No thanks, I'd rather avoid that malpractice suit. As for an engagement ring? You're kidding right? With D? Why the fuck would I want to spend three months of my salary that I'll never get back on a ring that would just get thrown at my head and that he'd never wear anyway?"

Derek blinked. "I... geez, I guess you're right." He looked panicked for a few moments. "You don't think Angie would do that do you? The throwing the ring at my head part, I mean?"

Vincent snickered a little. "Not unless you totally fucked up the proposal, Stiles. But then, I think she's more inclined to agree to the traditional engagement, marriage, honeymoon, 2.5 kids and a dog thing than D is."

"Now I just have to ask her," Derek groaned.

"Exactly. But we're getting lunch first. And I am not going out with you on this kind of idiotic fool's errand again, Stiles. So if you don't find something this time, next time, I'm sending Maddy with you," Vincent threatened. Though from the tone, it was hard to tell if it was a threat or a promise.

"Oh that's cruel and unusual!" Derek protested.

"It is not! Besides, she might be better suited for it, since she actually knows shit about jewelry. Shit, I never thought I'd get hauled out with you to do something like this when you came to St. Rita's."

"And I never thought I'd have to deal with half the things I've had to deal with since I've shown up. I swear, some of the cases we've had since I've arrived have made the whole GUILT and PGS thing look tame by comparison," Derek said, rolling his eyes.

"Would you ever really want to go back to being the Caduceus wonderboy?" Vincent asked.

"After that article you wrote and that I helped with a couple years back, I don't think I could, even if I did want to. Which I don't. This place is nuts, but it's home," Derek said, shrugging.

"Yeah well... let's get food. And then you can go back to making the jewelry stores your home," Vincent said. "Though you can't keep me out all day. D will kill me. Even though I told him where I'd be. He's been acting weird. Like, weird for him."

"Oh?" Derek asked, arching an eyebrow. "What's he doing?"

"He's been having weirder mood swings than normal, he threw something aside from those silk ballet slippers he wears at me yesterday. It was only a teacup, but still. and then there have been these ridiculous accusations that I'm cheating on him." Vincent snorted at this last, rolling his eyes. "When would I have the time even if I had the inclination? Which I don't."

"He sounds pregnant," Derek said cheerfully.

"Don't fucking say that Stiles. Don't even fucking think it!"

"Vincent, I was kidding."

"Yeah, but this is D We're talking about. So there's a chance it could be entirely possible," Vincent said, making a face.

"Maybe we should get you some cigars while we're out," Derek mused, grinning a little at the growl that produced from Vincent.

"I am never agreeing to go out with you ever again," Vincent muttered. "Come on. We need food before you break my brain anymore with the idea of pregnant D. Even though the idea is far more plausible than I care to think about."

"What are you going to do if he actually is pregnant?" Derek asked.

"Get drunk. And then deal with it. Food, Stiles. Now," Vincent said, before dismissing the idea. It explained far too much about the current situation, and he hated when Derek was right.


Pregnant. He was pregnant. He'd suspected as much for the last several months (especially when he had started craving strawberries of all things) but he had only confirmed it today. Not by such crude methods as a human pregnancy test (he was far too dignified for that, and Vincent would never let him hear the end of it besides), but he had confirmed his suspicions all the same.

Of course, this new knowledge left the kami at quite a loss as to what to do.

First of all, he hadn't even been sure that he could bear more children after D. Gods knew, he had attempted to. There had even been a rather lamentable attempt with Vesca before things had gone sour, but it had all been in vain. Nothing had happened, and so, he had thought that D would simply be his first and only child. That assumption, clearly, was wrong.

Secondly, he hadn't done a ritual, or anything like that, which meant that this child came about in the old fashioned way. Honestly, D hadn't been sure that breeding between kami and humans was possible after the revenge pact with the animal spirits had been made so many years ago. He had never really seriously tested the theory, just assumed that no human/kami child would be viable after so many failed attempts of his own. He was a geneticist, after all. And if he had tried a bit of self-experimentation... well... hadn't all great scientists done so at one point or another in their careers? Again, nothing had come of it. So he hadn't thought that a kami and a human could breed in the old fashioned way without any magical assistance - well more so than the fact that kami themselves were magical creatures - until Vincent Harris had proven that theory wrong.

But now what? He and Vincent hadn't even started to discuss this! He didn't even know how Vincent felt about children, at least not when it came to having them himself. After all, Dr. Harris was the undisputed love of all the little girls who came through St. Rita's and all the little boys wanted to be him by the time they left. He didn't know how Vincent would react to this news. He doubted Vincent would leave him. After all, it was Vincent's apartment. Well, technically over the last couple years, it had become their apartment, but Vincent would probably point out that he had been there first, and he wouldn't be moving out just because D was going to have a child. And D doubted that Vincent was the type to kick him out either.

And then, of course, there was the very real fact that he had only slightly more parenting experience than Vincent when you came right down to it. He had only had D for a scant few years before his father had stolen the boy away. That had been a blow from which he had never quite recovered. And that his son had never quite recovered from either, if their current relationship was any indication. Really, it could be described as "strained" on the best of days.

It was at this point in his worrying (because he was not freaking out, no matter what people would say) that Vincent's voice interrupted him. He'd been so caught up that he hadn't heard his lover come in.

"Derek Stiles fails at life," Vincent growled. "He took me to every fucking jewelry store downtown and he still doesn't have a goddamn ring for Angie! The next time, Maddy is going with him!"

"Is ring shopping all you and Dr. Stiles did, Dr. Harris?" D asked irritably. "You're late."

"Shit, D," Vincent groaned. "Do we really have to go through this whole song and dance again? I told you where I was going. I told you it would probably take all day. And I asked you if you wanted to go along! Do I have to spell this out for you?! I am not fucking cheating on you with anyone! Least of all Derek fucking Stiles! I don't have the time or the inclination! Now what the fuck is up with you?! You've been fucking crazy for the last several months!"

D was annoyed at the flash of relief that went through him at Vincent's expletive-filled tirade. But he was even more annoyed when he heard Charon, Vincent's irritating cat, pad out of the bedroom.

"He is freaking out because he's going to have kittens, moron," Charon said, ignoring the kami's indignant squawk. Then she looked at Vincent. "By the way, he's going to have kittens, moron," she said, before padding back out of the room.

"Wait... what?" Vincent asked, looking at D.

"We are not discussing this!" the kami growled. And he knew he was blushing. He could tell.

"You're going to have kittens?" Vincent asked, looking half dazed and half amused.

"What? No! Don't be ridiculous!" the kami growled, annoyed that Vincent would ask such a ludicrous question when he wasn't sleep deprived. (Though to hear Vincent talk he was always sleep deprived.) Then he turned and began to stalk out of the room. But Vincent's voice caught him midstep.

"So, am I going to have to bring home one of those home pregnancy tests so you can pee on a stick and count the number of lines?"

D froze, his eyes widening, and then he turned and stalked back over to Vincent before slapping him across the face. Hard. "Tread carefully, Dr. Harris. You're venturing into territory where even angels fear to tread," was all he said, before stalking out of the room. Though he did take the time to enjoy a moment of pleasure at the shock on Vincent's face first. Aside from that though he really couldn't deal with Vincent, Charon, or anything about this entire situation right now.

He stalked out of the apartment and pulled out his cell phone, calling the limousine company as he did. He needed a car. Where he was going yet, he wasn't sure. He just needed to get out and put some space between himself and Vincent for awhile. Maybe getting away for a few hours would help. It certainly couldn't hurt matters. And it might even keep him from skinning Vincent's cat.


Sometimes, in those very brief moments in the dark of night, the Count would sometimes allow himself to think that there was something very wrong with his son.

The boy was a doctor, a geneticist in fact, at a well known hospital in New York, and doing his part for the cause. What more could a father ask for?

But... some things didn't always add up. Little things that the Count would usually just chalk up to his son dying. Rebirth could change a person. But some differences were more than a little unsettling.

Like: His son liked strawberries now. He never had before.

Like: Sometimes the boy seemed to enjoy making a mess. Before he had always wanted to be pristine. Like a cat. It had almost been pathological. But when the boy was growing up, the eldest Count would catch him playing in mud puddles. And now... well... sometimes there was the things he would do with food, or pens or when he got bloody and would simply "forget" to clean up.

Like: The artistic fixation. This bothered the Count the most. His son had always, always been a scientist. Art had never been an issue. But now the boy was interested in it. At least a little. He was still doing what he needed to be doing for their cause, but there was that confusing artistic interest. It was troublesome.

Of course, death and rebirth could change a person, even a kami, but... sometimes he thought there were too many changes.

Sometimes he thought that. But most of the time, he ignored that thought. Because most of the time, his son behaved much like he always had, and the differences could be ignored, or chalked up to a new incarnation, a new life, or just disregarded completely. Besides, what did differences matter when the cause was still being worked for?

The Count sighed, shaking his head, and got up to light the incense. It was ridiculous to think of such things now. Besides, there were many things to do this evening, and it wasn't like he had anyone in the shop around to help him anymore. Sometimes, he missed having his grandson around to help him with the day to day running of things. But the boy had become headstrong, and he had his own ship now. It was annoying, but trying to force the boy to stay hadn't ended well.

It didn't matter. He could manage without him. And, he supposed, children had to grow up sometimes.

Still... the matter of the differences in his son bothered him. If they got worse, perhaps he'd do something about it. But for now, the boy was still being helpful, was still helping with their cause, and was even occasionally still helping around the shop. Which was something else that hadn't happened for a very long time, but something that the Count wasn't going to argue with. That particular change was definitely one for the better.

Once the incense was lit and the animals were fed, the Count went to go prepare tea. It was always tea time in the shop. Even at this time of night. Besides, he had a feeling he'd be having visitors soon, and he never liked to turn away guests. Or potential customers for that matter. It was considered rude.

And he always tried to be a gracious host. And provide his customers with exactly what they were looking for.
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