lostangelssong: (Knight Errant - Glenn)
[personal profile] lostangelssong
So... since I haven't been posting in forever, and no one probably reads my journal anymore, here's what you need to know since I last posted anything with content:

  • I moved in with my girlfriend. We have a dog, a cat, and are planning on getting married or eloping sooner rather than later.
  • I got a job working in a prison as a substance abuse counselor. I had a crazy boss, and worked with a lot of black girls. I met a lot of interesting, talented, clients. I was there for 14 months.
  • I left that job for a lot of reasons. One of them being crazy boss.
  • I'm currently working at a community mental health clinic that services a lot of poor and disabled folk. I know a lot about foodstamps, SSI, TCA, and the clustercuss that is our disability system now.

I say all that to say this: I'm gonna be writing about work sometimes from now on. No names. No faces. The work stuff is mostly to keep me from burning out. That said, here goes.

Sometimes work feels like I'm still working at the prison... Just from the other side. The parole side. The clients are the same but the issues are different.

I saw my ex-con client today. I think it was one of the more intense sessions we’ve had. And he cried. Not sobbing or anything but mantears. It was one of those days I wanted to give my clients a hug but i didn’t. I just told him i thought he was strong. And i do. Especially with what he went through.

Some days I want to hug all my clients and tell them it will be ok. Some days I want to wave a magic wand and make it all ok. But I can’t be the one to hug them because that might retraumatize them. So they have to initiate it. And even though i know there’s no quick fixes in therapy, a part of me is still looking for that magic wand. Because I want to give my clients a happily ever after.

I want to help people. And sometimes that just means trying to convince them that the trauma that they suffered wasn’t their fault and that they aren’t any less of a person for what they survived. Sometimes it’s helping them to see that they did survive. And sometimes? Sometimes it’s just letting them cry.
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May 2013

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